Ism

Ramblus 13

Published on June 1, 2004 By OckhamsRazor In Misc

I was just reading a forum post by imajinit regarding a little problem he is facing with a recovering roomate.

Normally I don't like to flash my credentials in a blog. It just seems a heavy handed way to establish onesself as an authority, but since imajinit's particular post is about a subject near and dear to my heart, I'm going to.

Now if you've read the post he made, you might be guessing I'm a social worker, or that I work with recovery patients. Well, the latter is partially true, for I, ladies and gentlemen, am a card carrying, full fledged, member in good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have also been a notorious drunk with all of the lovely things that such a title confers upon its owner - multiple failed marriages, estranged children, loss of jobs, and most importantly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people.

Now, with all that in mind, I would like to state that the intent of this blog is twofold. One, I wish to put imajinit's mind at ease. Two, I wish to perhaps provide some insight. Dare I be so egotistical as to suppose I might educate someone? Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

Maybe I'll even piss someone off, I dunno. I noticed I crept up to rank 169 from 170 today, and I don't want to become TOO popular around here.

I digress (as usual).

Alcoholism is far more than an addiction to alcohol. In fact the alcohol part is almost inconsequential if you can believe that. This is the general opinion of it, and fair enough. We alcoholics don't expect you "normies" to understand what this is like, and in fact, we're pretty sure it is impossible for you to.

Nevertheless, consider: Addiction to alcohol is a manifestation of what I prefer to simply call "Ism." And Ism is the catalyst for many addictive behaviors. There is no cure for Ism, but there are steps one can take to send Ism into remission and to keep it there.

Have you ever read the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous only later to read the 12 steps of something else and noticed they were strikingly similar? That's because they are both the solution to the same "disease" but with different manifestations as symptoms. Some people might drink too much, some might have sex too much, some might eat too much, etc...etc...

One of the dangers I encountered at the beginning of the recovery from Ism was a desire to substitute something in its place. Obviously this is not a recovery. If I say "Well, kicking booze was hard until I found heroin, and then everything was fine" you will find this comment easy to understand. The truth is usually a lot more subtle. Addiction to people or to God is far more common.

So. Ism is not by itself an addiction to one particular thing, so what is it?

I can only speak for me, but I will tell you many have told me their experiences, and they all match so far. The empirical evidence therefore suggests that Ism is caused by people that are very afraid of not being perfect to such a degree as to blame others for their problems (self victimization) with reckless abandon.

The solution therefore is to take ownership of your own life and your own actions and your own consequences and then live your life in a such a way that you continue to hold yourself personally responsible for these things on a daily basis. I don't want to over simplify recovery, but for the purposes of this discussion, that is enough.

In the forum post by imajinit, the roommate who used to be all messed up on alcohol is now all messed up on God and other people instead...which is different to him for some reason. He is transferring his problem (making bad life choices) and imposing the consequences on imajinit. This is not on the path to recovery. This, in fact, is the path to more Ism.

Imajinit, stay the course bro, and enjoy your beers. Even if you and your girl wanted to get snot-slinging drunk, it isn't your responsibility to make this guy's life easier. It's his problem, and if you change a thing about yourself, you'll simply enable his ability to blame his life on the world.

I'd like to state for the record, that I am happy I am a recovering alcoholic and that if they invented a cure tomorrow that would allow me to drink responsibly, I would refuse it. Coming to a place where I could deal with life on life's terms has been the most rewarding journey I have taken in my 41 years. I ask you to consider a few things...obviously you are not obligated.

If you know someone that is a notorious drunk, understand that you cannot lable them an alcoholic. They must do that. If they are bothering you, then you need to help yourself. You can leave their presence, or if it is someone you care dearly about, then seek counselling for you. Their path is their path, and there isn't a thing you can do to save them. "You can't not drink, shoot, screw, eat, gamble, work" for them.

Work? Oh yes, Workaholism is the same disease. See the "Ism" on the end? It's very insidious because unlike alcoholism where negative reinforcement for alcoholic behaviors is commonplace, you get raises and promoted for being a workaholic. Unfortunately, you still have a high chance of incurring the things I creditted to my own alcoholism earlier. Namely: multiple failed marriages, estranged children, and maybe not loss of jobs, but certainly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people. This is NOT a coincidence.

Addiction to food is a rough one I am thankful to not have. Imagine that you are addicted to something you need SOME of every day to keep you alive. What a hell. You have to kick the habit...but not kick it completely. Fortunately, the same cure will work if the patient is willing.

I ramble a lot...anyone noticed this yet? Probably all those brain cells I killed

That's a joke, people..laugh. I am.

Have a great day, and if you're having a beer - Cheers!

Comments

Muggaz

on Jun 01, 2004

Good one mate.

I refferenced it, it ties in to a lot of my thoughts lately

It's all about respect bro

BAM!!!

Gerry Atrick

on Jun 01, 2004

Interesting article but why are some people more prone to addictions than others? You bring up that Imajinit's friend transferred his addiction from one thing to another. For myself I am a smoker of sorts, in that I will go out and may have 10 or more cigarettes while drinking. Outside of this (which maybe happens once a month) I will have around 5 cigarettes in a week. Somehow the addictive properties of nicotine seem to have bypassed me.
When I was younger I used to go out drinking on Friday and Saturday night and often on weeknights as well. This happened pretty much every week. These days I will go for weeks without a drink and not miss it. Again the demon bypassed me. (cant say about the workaholic bit though....never even been tempted down that track

)
Surely some people are more genetically disposed to addiction than some others. So while we can say that they must help themselves they surely also need help and it must be in societies interest to help them......how much does addiction cost society? I don't know but I bet it could be in the billions each year.
Anyway, guess I'm lucky not to be predisposed, sure I wont have your 'most rewarding journey' but I think thats one journey I wont go on if I dont have to.
Thanks for the article

imajinit

on Jun 01, 2004

well, with any luck, this article will get featured or something... very well written, and very insightful.

I don't really have anything to add, but I will say that I agree with all that you had to say. I've been around addictions my whole life, from my sister being in AA when I was a teenager, to my Dad and my brother both being hopelessly addicted to computer games, even now.

I too have struggled with addictions in my day, from computer games to card games. I never started smoking because I know that I'm predisposed to getting addicted to things.

My response to Gerry Atrick's comment is this. People who's lives are shitty are gonna be more likely to seek out solace in some form of escape. Genetic pre-disposition? Sure. But some of it is environmental.

dharmagrl

on Jun 01, 2004

People who's lives are shitty are gonna be more likely to seek out solace in some form of escape

Define 'shitty'. Because I've known some pretty high end junkies and alcoholics.

Mr_Frog

on Jun 02, 2004

I defeated one of my Isms!

Quitting smoking...boy ain't it a bitch?

If I could give you two insightful ratings for this article I would.

-- B

Mr_Frog

on Jun 02, 2004

Oh, and by the way...I'm addling you to my blog roll. I went back and read some of your other stuff and I like what I see.

-- B

Abe cubbage

on Jun 02, 2004

Good post. I would go so far as to say that "Ism" is the cause of all human suffering. I hope this makes it to the front page so others can read it.

OckhamsRazor

on Jun 02, 2004

Interesting article but why are some people more prone to addictions than others?

It's a good point, Gerry, and I have no answer. I have been extremely addictive in all kinds of ways and I can't trace it back to any particular phenomenon. I've had a fairly normal life with most of the strife in it having been brought upon myself. I suppose if we had this answer, many things could be avoided, but that gives me reason to pause and wonder if I had avoided all of that stuff...who would I be right now?

Anyway, guess I'm lucky not to be predisposed, sure I wont have your 'most rewarding journey' but I think thats one journey I wont go on if I dont have to.

I don't blame you one tiny bit. Consider my "rewarding journey" statement a result of cock eyed optimism

Thank you all for your comments, I am humbled and happy you got something out of it.

Muggaz

on Jun 02, 2004

If you will clcik on the link in the first reply - Kingbee has provided a good answer... kind of...

BAM!!!

Gerry Atrick

on Jun 02, 2004

Kingbee has provided a good answer

Yes, though it is still a bit of the more we know the more we realise we don't know. And agree with you about kingbee being a smart dude.

I don't blame you one tiny bit. Consider my "rewarding journey" statement a result of cock eyed optimism

Yes and surely the journey is only rewarding when you succeed (as you have.) Failure could be devestating.

Dune

on Jun 03, 2004

I'm glad I just read your article, I've only just put my cyber pen down from writing an entry of my own on the same subject. Most importantly, I'm interested by your advice to seek counselling for myself, rather than asking my loved one with the ism to do it. I've started to think recently that I need to talk to someone (like a counsellor) to figure out how I'm going to deal with my boyfriends drinking, but I was feeling a bit resentful about it, but you've just clarified what I was slowly realising for myself. Cheers!

Sally jacobs

on Jun 04, 2004

That was an excellent article, and you made me giggle at the end, hehe! I don't really have anything to add, it's all been said, just wanted to say I liked it, and it made me think, so thank you

Joe98

on Jun 18, 2004

Excellent blog. Dead on good...

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