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Published on April 22, 2008 By OckhamsRazor In Humor

First off.  I won't follow anyone else's idea about how this post should be written.  In fact, I won't follow anyone's idea about anything except my own.  Actually, that's coming daringly close to being a positive since that's true of all candidates, but I admit it.  That makes me look honest.  Hmmm...

 

Second, I really don't care about 95% of other people.  And I don't believe politics does either, but like we established a moment ago, I admit it.  So don't vote for me, because if I find you wanting in the "potential for society to develop" department, I'll probably look the other way when someone kills you.  I know you'd prefer to hang around and be a detriment to society with "justice" as a shield, but I really don't care about our collective idea of justice.  I just care about my own sense of it.

 

For foreign policy, all countries that have even remotely given us crap in the last 10 years will be bombed out of known existence.  We are working on a clock people.  I know some of you think Superman is gonna swoop in at the zero hour and turn this cesspool into a kingdom, but as your president, I'm not taking that chance.  Yes, women and children too.  Sorry I'm such a beast.  Can't have a bunch of indoctrinated backbiters chasing us around forever.  The time to get hot about populating some more planets is now, and I don't mean those in our solar system.  We have a lot of work to do, and all this infighting about which magically delicious afterlife is the right one is totally holding up the wheel of progress.  I won't have it.  Believe what you want, but get the hell out of the way.

 

And I don't really care who is in charge of the world government.  It doesn't have to be me.  As long as a plan is put in place to take care of educating people to the point that we are progressing as a race.  If you ain't on the train of progression or are somehow incapable, well, the sad news is you're breathing the air of someone who is.  Get on the train or I'll see to it that you're thrown off it.  At 90 miles an hour.  While crossing a chasm.

 

For domestic policy, I see one main problem.  We're more interested in victimization than we are in justice.  Every moron who does something wrong to his fellow man, did it because of some other self-victimizing reason.  Bad parents.  Drugs.  Whatever.  It's time for it to end.  You screw up, you're gone.  And I'll happily embrace a bullet to my own head if I'm found lacking.

 

Convinced yet?  Don't vote for me.  95% of you will bite a real bullet if you do.  AND, I didn't use the word "meme" in a sentence other than this one citing that I didn't use it (which doesn't count).

 

Love,

Ock


Comments
on Apr 22, 2008
Can I be your worst suited vice president?

~Zoo
on Apr 22, 2008
What the hell have I begun?
on Apr 22, 2008
What the hell have I begun?


A massive movement of ass ripping parody.

~Zoo
on Apr 22, 2008

Can I be your worst suited vice president?

 

I'd be honored.  Hell, you can be pres and I'll be vice pres.  I don't care as long as stuff gets done.

on Apr 22, 2008
I'd be honored. Hell, you can be pres and I'll be vice pres. I don't care as long as stuff gets done.


Hoorah!   

~Zoo
on Apr 22, 2008
You've convinced me.
on Apr 22, 2008
Reminds me of Aenima by TOOL.

I think you're the right "wrong" man for the job!
on Apr 22, 2008
Why are tears of patriotism coming to my eyes?
on Apr 22, 2008
What is your stance on beer?