A place where we practice random acts of insight and humor.
And Started Vaping
Published on July 10, 2009 By OckhamsRazor In Life Journals

Put down that cheeseburger.  Now.  Do it NOW!


I haven't had one cigarette today, and it's all because of a wonderful device called the E-cigarette.  It delivers nicotine to the body on water vapor.  There's no smell, no tar, no second hand smoke, no smell in my clothes or on my breath.  It's WATER VAPOR with nicotine added.


The FDA, in its infinite wisdom, is looking at BANNING this device.  Oh man, we can't have you getting a nicotine fix without all the health problems that come with it through normal means.


Ok, FDA, so in keeping with logic, I write to you:


Dear FDA,


It has come to our recent attention that you are considering banning "Electronic Cigarettes" but you're gonna keep the fuckin REAL ones!  This is a wonderful idea, and we understand that it is your pure concern for the health of Americans that drives this decision.


Although I do not speak for all E-Cigarette smokers, I think most of them would echo my words when we say "Thank you for also shutting down most fast food places which serve food that is high in fat and leads directly to heart disease.  In addition, thank you for eliminating things that are high in sucrose, because, once again, many people in America currently suffer from obesity, not to mention Diabetes, which are both health problems, and we totally honor your integrity when it comes to protecting the health of Americans.


In fact, we honor your efforts SO much, that I regret to inform you that if you outlaw E-Cigarettes, but not high fructose corn syrup, high fat foods sold by fast food places, high sucrose items including soda and power drinks, high caffeine items from Starbuck's and other similar places, we will sadly be forced to sue you.  Let's not let it come to that.  That would be a real shame, but unfortunately our drive for freedom and justice for all Americans will not permit us to be swayed.


Thank you for your time, and I hope to NOT see you in court, because it's going to be ugly if I do.



on Jul 10, 2009

for nearly 100 years, america has been so obsessed with addiction.  considering all the other foolishness we've had to endure--alcohol prohibition, criminalization of unprocessed substances that encourages smuggling of much more potent (and compact) concentrated forms--of course the fda is gonna be opposed to a nicotine delivery system without all the carcinogens.

the very last work of fiction i sold (early 90s) will eventually prove to be fact when someone figurs out how to easily (and virtually) simulate the sensations afforded by opiates and it'll become obvious to everyone that drugs were never the problem; it's always been about unregulated pleasure

on Jul 11, 2009

What work is that, KB?  I'm interested in sending some royalties your way.


Oh, and bumpity bump bump.   Come on folks - THINK about this and speak.

on Jul 11, 2009

I saw an ad for e-cigarettes recently but I've never really thought anyone actually bought them. I've always had some vague feeling they were like Nigerian bank letters, and didn't actually exist.

What's the grounds for the ban? They can't be any more harmful than hand-rolled cigarettes.

it's always been about unregulated pleasure

To be fair, it's the fear that people aren't smart enough to regulate their pleasure rather than the pleasure itself (except in the most strict of families, where discipline is a game the whole family gets messed up with). Most of the arguments I've heard for drug laws eventually boil down to the fear that there'll be no one to man the factories/farms/hair salons/banks if everyone's off their tits.

on Jul 11, 2009

Repeat after me: "Prohibition does not work".

What will it take to get it in their thick stupid skulls?

on Jul 12, 2009

We are the government.  All problems can be solved with money and laws.

If the problem is not solved by money and laws, blame it on the President.

If the President is a Democrat, blame it on the previous Republican President.

We are the government.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.

on Jul 13, 2009

What work is that, KB? I'm interested in sending some royalties your way.

a short story entitled "virtuous reality" written for a magazine no longer in publication--so no residuals or royalties.  i was paid well considering it took less than 2 hours to produce.  sadly, i don't have a copy.

To be fair, it's the fear that people aren't smart enough to regulate their pleasure rather than the pleasure itself

tyrants repress because it works.  when ya have em by the balls, their hearts and minds are gonna follow.

there'll be no one to man the factories/farms/hair salons/banks

most of the victorian era's tediously detailed craftsmanship was created by addicts. who else would have the patience?  remember, until the early 20th century the only laws regulating substance use dealt with tobacco or alcohol--and even those were by no means universal.  a king might take it into his head to ban smoking or drinking during a part of his reign but...kings die.


on Jul 14, 2009

a king might take it into his head to ban smoking or drinking during a part of his reign but...kings die.

And a queen may find lesbian sex completely unbelievable, and so refuse calls to ban it. There's something to be said for a mercury/lead dosed monarchy.

on Jul 14, 2009

Well, if they can figure out how to tax them more, then they won't outlaw them.  It's all about the money.  They won't outlaw cigarettes because of how much they make off the industry.

I should get these for my MIL- at least then she can hide her smoking from my FIL easier.  LOL

on Jul 14, 2009

just a thought as to why they would want to outlaw this... the LD50 toxicity for nicotine is higher (actually lower but that means more toxic) than any pesticide you could buy at a hardware store and more toxic than about 90% of what's available at commercial pesticide suppliers...


not kidding there is a very high risk of poisoning from these products... buy hey on the other end of the spectrum... I don't picture these e-cigarettes having any more nicotine than a real cigarette... so how many cigarettes do you have to smoke before it poisons you anyways?  probably alot...  but hey... if a kid gets sick from one the these that comparison won't matter to a bunch of hippies anyways... lol... they'll call for someone's head...